Feel
by TwiztidJuggalette
Summary: AU. "How can you force yourself to stop loving someone?" InuXKag SanXmiro
1. 1

Disclaimer : I don't own Inuyasha, but I wish I did...  
  
TJ: Alot of this story is based on some shit that happened to me 5 months  
ago... But imma give the Inu gang their happy ending... Maybe... It really  
depends on my mood. R&R  
  
"Talking"  
'Thinking'  
  
Is it possible for love to be this fucked up? I know you're prolly  
thinking, "What the Fuck?".  
  
My name is Kagome Higurashi. I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago.  
What does this have to do with love? I'll tell you. It's simple really, Im  
still in love with him. You're prolly wondering WHY I broke it off... Well  
I'll tell you. He cheated on me. It started out great in the beginning, he  
liked me, I liked him. It was great. We got very serious... Everything was  
cool... Until one day he called me up with some bad new... He told me he  
had cheated on me. He begged me to take him back, so I did.  
  
A few weeks later... He told me he was still in love with the girl that he  
cheated on me with. He said he still loved me too... I was torn apart  
inside. I was so confused, After rebuilding the trust that he broke... He  
does this to me? I had to get rid of him. So I broke it off. He tried to  
get me to stay but I couldn't.  
  
That was one of the hardest things I have ever done. The hard part isn't  
over yet. I go to school with him, I see him everyday. I'm in all of his  
classes. We talk most of the time we're together in class. I should be  
happy that we can at least be friends, right? WRONG! He acts like we're  
still going out and that he still loves me. I don't know if he does or not.  
I mean, How could I? After all the shit he's done to me... My best friend's  
Sango and Maria say I should move on... But it's to hard.  
  
I don't know what to do...  
  
How can you force yourself to stop loving someone? 


	2. 2

Disclaimer : I don't own Inuyasha... Or any song's that appear in this fic.

TJ : First thing I just gotta support someone... Leomae... I don't know if you're going to see this.. But If you do, if you need someone to talk to... E-mail me. I dont know exactly what's going on with you, but maybe I could help, And thanks to the other reviewers! And FoxylilRaven, Um I know you can't just FALL out of love.. I've been through this shit... It's not easy or fun... Any who! As for the songs in this, there are gonna be jpop songs and ICP songs... Imma mix it up a bit. The song in this is called "Another Love Song" and it's by ICP. Well, R&R

"Talking"

'Thinking'

(Lyrics)

It's monday... Im in pre-algebra. What a boring class, huh? Oh, and plus... Im sitting right next to Inuyasha. It sucks.. My heart starts pounding, my hands get sweaty... It's horrible. We talk and all, but... It's just not the same.

(Yeah, I mean I hear what your saying

I mean you got carried away in the moment

And I could forgive you.....I could do that

I could do anything if I wanted to

I could buy you a Lexus Truck with a white leather interior (I could)

I could kill off some bears and dogs and shit

Just to make you a fur coat

I could love you and treat you with class (Oh yeah!)

And have babies falling all out your ass

But thinking about that

I feel I'd rather kill you

Cause I got you in my car you ain't going no were bitch your dead)

"Hey Kag baby."

"Hey Yasha..." I said, In my 'Great it's you' tone.

"What's up?"

"The sky?"

"You sound sad, anything wrong?" Inuyasha asked.

'Besides the fact of you, no.'

"No, Im fine." I said.

Inuyasha just looked at me. I looked back at him, hiding my feelings. "Um, what exactly are you looking at?"

"The most beautiful woman in the world." He was turning on the charm.

((Chorus)

I'd rather cut that neck in half

I'd rather choke out that bitch ass

I'd rather chop and never stop

Because you fucked my homie

I'd rather cut that neck in half

I'd rather choke out that bitch ass

I'd rather chop and never stop

Because you fucked my homie)

"I hate this class!" I growled, Yasha laughed. We are pretty good friends if you think about it... But since Im in love with him... It's hard on me. I don't trust him.

"Yea, me too baby... Let's skip ok?"

"Okay hun." I said.

(I could take all the face paint off

And get a real job working for your dad

I would rather take a 10 pound axe

And stick it in your daddy's forehead

I could let you move into my house

You'd fuck the neighbor everytime I go out

And whipe his nut on my pillow (Oh)

But I think I'd rather kill you

Cause we parked here all alone on this here dark alleyway, Hey)

We got into his '86 mustang and drove off...

"Where to baby?" Inuyasha asked me.

"Um, I dunno."

"My house I suppose." He grinned, as if he'd just won a race.

"Just because we're going to your house doesn't mean you're getting any!" I said. He knew what I meant. Usually all the other times I've gone home with him, I would end up fucking him in his bed.

((Chorus)

I'd rather cut that neck in half

I'd rather choke out that bitch ass

I'd rather chop and never stop

Because you fucked my homie

I'd rather cut that neck in half

I'd rather choke out that bitch ass

I'd rather chop and never stop

Because you fucked my homie

I'm the one that killed your precious cat

And stuffed him in your fucking mail box (Whistle)

If I only hadn't cut off my hair

I'd choke you with all my dreadlocks

When I scream at the moon everynight

You should've known something just ain't right

Cause I'm gonna slap you (Bitch)

And then I'm going to kill you

Cause the moon told me to and it's watching us right now)

"I know... I know." He smiled. I hate the way he's so damn cocky. He acts like he can get it anyway, anytime and anyplace he wants... And usually he does..

"So you got any weed?" I asked, looking outside.

"Yea.. Bout three ounces."

"You wanna get me stoned?" I smiled. He laughed.

"Don't I usually?"

"Yea." Me and him always get drunk and stoned together, which usually ends up in hot sweaty sex.

I turned on his car's cd player. I immediately heard "Another Love Song" Blasting out of the sound system. He started singing along.

((Chorus)

I'd rather cut that neck in half

I'd rather choke out that bitch ass

I'd rather chop and never stop

Because you fucked my homie

I'd rather cut that neck in half

I'd rather choke out that bitch ass

I'd rather chop and never stop

Because you fucked my homie

I could go back to school instead

And try and get my diploma

I'd much rather bang your head on the wall

Untill you fall into a coma

Cause I can't get you outta my head

I'd cut my head off, but then I would be dead

And I ain't the only motherfucka that's dieing

So let's just die together)

I laughed. He's really something... I can't deny that. He cheers me up alot... But he also brings me down alot. It's fucked up.

We pulled into his driveway. It's a good thing his mom and step dad are never home. They might see some shit they might night like. Like me fucking him.

We got into his house and he shoved me into the wall. He knows how I like it. I could feel his breath on my lips... I looked into his eyes. I saw danger, excitement, and what could be mistaken for love.

"Well... Pick one. Fuck me... Or pay me 20 bucks." He smirked. He knew I was broke.

"I'll fuck you."

((Chorus)

I'd rather cut that neck in half

I'd rather choke out that bitch ass

I'd rather chop and never stop

Because you fucked my homie (Let's just die together)

I'd rather cut that neck in half

I'd rather choke out that bitch ass

I'd rather chop and never stop

Because you fucked my homie (Let's just die together)

I'd rather cut that neck in half

I'd rather choke out that bitch ass

I'd rather chop and never stop

Because you fucked my homie (Let's just die together)

I'd rather cut that neck in half

I'd rather choke out that bitch ass

I'd rather chop and never stop

Because you fucked my homie (Let's just die together))


	3. 3

Disclaimer : I don't own Inuyasha.... Or Twiztid's "Renditions Of Reality"

TJ : Im sorry, Please don't throw shit at me! THERE WILL BE NO LEMON RIGHT NOW! (Im ducking as i type.) To my reviews who wanted a lemon, Im sorry. I don't feel like it would be good at this point of my fic. I love meh reviewers! KEEP THE REVIEWS COMING!!!!

"Talking"

'Thinking'

(_Lyrics_)

(_When you slip into reality _

_Hoes wanna straddle me _

_Playa haters wanna battle me _

_But I shed em all like calories _

_Prophecy preacher _

_Lend your ear and I'll reach ya _

_And if your willing to be taught I'ma teach ya _

_I'm not a people person _

_Truth is I can't stand too many people _

_So many fake the funk and perpetrate and call me evil _

_But evil is a harsh word. )_

I was on his bed... He was asleep. We had fucked in his shower, his living room.. The kitchen.. And his bed.. Everywhere dammit. I feel so dirty. Am I just an easy fuck for him?

I got dressed and left. I had to get home, or somewhere. I knew I wouldn't see him tonight again. I'll get a call, seeing if Im ok, and how I got home. All that shit... But right now, I couldn't stand to be near him. I hate the way my body reacts to his touch. Gr! DAMN!

(_Tell the mockingbird that I said it _

_A man of my word I won't regret it _

_If I let it get to me like it get to them I'm no better. _

_The same message over and over with different sender _

_Playa hatin is an art of a scandalous and shabby person _

_Some do it oh so well _

_I'll be damned if they don't rehearse it. _

_Disperse it to people like me and you everyday _

_And they expect the common man to turn his cheek and walk away _

_And now I pray for an end to the madness _

_No more sadness shall fall to my people) _

"What am I doing?" I asked myself. I looked in my mirror. The girl in the mirror didn't look like me at all. Drug hazed eyes, tired, angry... Everything I tried not to be, I've become. I feel like shit. Im getting headaches and shakes... Time to pop my sleeping pills...

I woke up a four, when I heard my phone ring.

"Hello?" I asked sleepily.

"So I wore you out, huh?" I heard Inuyasha's cocky voice.

"Fuck, if anyone was wore out, it was you!" I laughed.

"It was the drugs man."

"Yea."

"So... How are you doing?" He asked in a caring voice.

"Well, Im good... I guess. How bout you?" I replied.

"Im good."

(_That preside to be the baddest _

_And all that they do and say _

_But overshadowed by a cloud turnin night to day _

_It's so tremendous that you couldn't even walk away _

_If you chose to _

_You even supposed to watch the ones you close too _

_Now that's insane _

_Tell me will it change _

_I'm confused, not a thing to lose _

_This shit is far from positive _

_And saddens like the booze _

_Payin dues ain't the only part of duties _

_That bestowed-to the chosen _

_Spittin lyrics in the microphone _

_And dodgin playa haters till my temple hit the ceiling _

_And this how they got a nigga feeling _

_I done fell into reality )_

We sat there. Not talking. Uncomfortable silence.

"Um. I gotta go." I said, trying not to care.

"Ok, bye." CLICK. He hung up. What an asshole... I sat there, tears in my eyes. I looked at a familiar number, and dialed.

"Hey Sango." I said softly.

"Hey girl! What's crackin'?!" I laughed at her choice of words. Sango could always make me feel better.

"I just talked to Yasha." She was quite. She always hated him. From the very first time she saw him, until now. She knew he made me cry.

"Why? Is there any point in talking to a guy that always hurts you?! Kagome, I don't me to yell... Im just worried." She sighed. I couldn't help it then, I broke down.

"Im sorry Sango. Im fucked up! Why can't I stop going back to him?! What's wrong with my brain?!" I sobbed.

"Kagome, don't cry. Please, I don't wanna hear you sad." Sango said.

(_My renditions of reality _

_Call it bad or good_

_wrong or right _

_Believe in me _

_Believe in me and I'll believe in you _

_One day it's gonna hit me like a ton of bricks _

_I'm feeling so sick, one of my dawgs passed and shit _

_I'm feelin like killin em all _

_But what's that solve? _

_He still gonna be dead in the morning, why take the fall?_

_Inside I be so mad I'm finna burst _

_Instead of a Chevys _

_My homie's rollin in the back of a hearse. _

_You know it's worse _

_It's too hard to cope with some days _

_Murderous ways leavin me sick and in a daze _

_Comatose, completely tore up _

_Nerves be so bad I wanna throw up _

_I'm bout to blow up _

_In a rage _

_I need to talk, nobody wanna listen _

_On the corner, murder mindstate condition _

_Overload _

_Pull the trigger)_

"Can you come over here?" I asked.

"Yea. I'll bring my good weed." She said, then hung up. I sighed. How could I do this to myself? Time and time again. I gave him my heart, and it's been trampled on by him. I should know by now that he doesn't love me.

Twenty minutes later, Sango was banging on the front door.

"Hey! We are gonna get soooooooooooooooooooooooooo stoned!" She smiled. She hugged me and sighed.

"I know you love him, But you'll get over him someday." She said with a sad smile.

"Ya know.. Sometimes, I wish I could glue my eyes shut. But then I couldn't see my cigarettes and I'd be fucked." I said, jokingly.

"There's my funny girl. Think of it this way, he'll soon realize that he lost a real beauty. And not just beauty in looks.. beauty as in great personality and fun to be around." Sango was never really good with forming sentences.

"I remember that night when he cheated on me. He got on his knees, crying... begging me to take his ass back." I said.

(_Stress got the best of suicide _

_Pour out some liquor _

_Another grave digga gets paid _

_Digging a grave for senseless ways . _

_Keep to ourself and stay paid _

_All of my dawgs can't die, _

_I visit the sky and reminisce when I'm high _

_I'm never gonna lie I got love for my peoples _

_Dead or Alive _

_Or we can smoke out in the ride in my memory _

_Yeah _

_Reality is just a fragment _

_A fragment of our souls _

_My eyes are closed _

_My head is spinnin _

_My head is spinnin _

_I don't know. _

_This is a musical masterpiece dedicated to down rydas _

_Keep it in your clique, fuck the Outsiders _

_People hatin' on everything and everything's the same _

_Everybody is a player and life is a silly game _

_It's a damn shame daddy died eleven years today. _

_I wonder if he know I'm doin' straight _

_Could you tell him something _

_If you see my pops before I do _

_Let him know that he's remembered by my crew _

_And everyday in my mind, any place, any time _

_Lookin in the sky for the seventh sign )_

"Sango. I gave him the best of me. So.... Can you tell me why Im _STILL _not good enough?" I broke down sobbing again.

"Shhh.. Kagome, baby. It's okay." She said softly, rocking me back and forth. "He doesn't deserve a girl like you."

She started to sing one of my favorite Twiztid songs. (A/N: it's the last verse to the song)

"_I walk around, nobody knows what I do _

_Sealing fates and date rapes _

_As my body transcends through this portal of life _

_Smokin blunts, wrongin my rights _

_I live for the night _

_Because I melt in the light _

_Completely out of sight _

_For facts so unknown _

_So grotesque never stated on microphones _

_So alone in this fucked up world, it sucks dick _

_Everybody got a problem with somethin _

_Well you can bet _

_I'll be the last one _

_More like the last dragon of sorts _

_To ever let this world contort their way of thinking _

_It's so essential it gives us all the potential _

_To take over the world, in our mentals _

_If I can't live my life the way I wanna live my life _

_Then why can't I die. _

_Why can't I die ?" _She sung softly. The words mean so much to me. They remind me... of him.. Of everything, actually.

(_My renditions of reality _

_Bad or good, wrong or right _

_Yeah (Reality is a fragment inside my soul) _

_Believe in me (My eyes are closed, head spinnin and I don't know)_

_(It's just reality, bad or good, wrong or right _

_Believe in me and I'll believe in you) _

_My rendition of reality _

_(And everything's tight) _

_Reality is a fragment inside my soul _

_My eyes are closed, head spinnin and I don't know, and I don't know, and I don't know...)_

"Believe in me an I'll believe in you, and every-thing's tight." I finished.

"Just forget about him." She said, handing me a drink.

"Yea... forget."

**TJ: Well, i hope that wasn't TOO long... Or boring. Sorry that I didn't update sooner! READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!**


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